Great Work! Now Go Do the Dishes.
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22)
Marriage is great, but it has challenges. Some careers can be especially challenging to marriage. Police work is one. If you are a man and you work in a challenging career and your wife supports you, you can appreciate the truth of this verse more than most people. The verse also doesn’t say, “Whoso findeth a husband findeth a good thing,” but if you are a lady in a challenging career and your husband supports you, you also know you’ve “found a good thing, and obtained favour of the LORD.”
God ordained marriage: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:” (Genesis 2:24) The Bible also says the key to happy marriage is choosing to love: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25) “That they [older women] may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands,” (Titus 2:4)
Love is a choice you make, not an emotion you feel. You may not always feel loving emotions toward your spouse. Don’t let feelings fool you. Don’t think your marriage is in trouble because feelings don’t seem right. You may hear a song like that on the radio, but it’s a song someone wrote. It’s not the Bible.
The Bible tells men to love our wives as Christ loved the church, “…and gave himself for it;” Show your wife love by giving her things; not necessarily things you buy. Give her attention when she talks. Close the laptop. Turn off the TV. Put down the phone. Don’t give her an occasional “yeah, uh-huh” as you scroll through facebook. You may not think what she’s talking about is important, but SHE’S important.
Give her pleasant words: “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24) Never give her sharp words: “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword:” (Proverbs 12:18) Give her compliments. Give her affection. Give her hugs. Give her massages.
Give her a break from housework. Do dishes. Don’t say it’s a woman’s job. The Bible says that men do dishes. 2 Kings 21:13 says God would wipe Jerusalem “…as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down.” Do laundry. Whites in hot water, colors in cold. If you have a baby, change diapers. It’s your baby, too. If you’re a cop and you can handle gory homicide scenes, you can handle poopy diapers.
Give her an apology when needed. Don’t always strive to win an argument. That’s pride. Pride is #1 of the seven deadly sins: “These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,” (Proverbs 6:16-17) If you win an argument but poison your relationship, you’ve gained nothing. If you realize you are 50% wrong in a matter and so is she, apologize for your 50%. Don’t wait for her to apologize for her 50%.
Show her love even when you don’t want to. The devil tempts people to sin: “And when the tempter came to him [Jesus], he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.” (Matthew 4:3) He will tempt you to commit sin by not showing love to your wife. Resist the temptation. Show her love even if you don’t think she deserves it. Do you always deserve it? Pray for her, too. The devil tempts her to sin, just as he tempts you. Ask God to give her grace and help her resist temptation.
God meant for any marriage to be happy and last a lifetime, and it can. The Bible has much more to say about making marriage happy than can be said in one short essay. Yet the first question for any husband or wife is, Do you know that your sins are forgiven and you’ll be in heaven for eternity? If you don’t but want to, please go to www.clevelandbaptist.org, click “Helpful Links,” then “How Do I Go to Heaven?”
Brian Miller 5/15/2024
Cleveland Baptist Church 4431 Tiedeman Road, Brooklyn, Ohio 44144 216/671-2822